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Know your worth

I’m sure there are a handful of us who have been involved in a three-person relationship, thinking that you might be the main chick, while you are the side chick.

Personally speaking with Mwaka Simasiku

The guy feeling both your heads up with lies and promises. The ride or die that believes ‘this too shall pass’. It is all twisted, thinking on who is going to win at the end of day.
Most women will try to drive themselves crazy trying to pin down exactly where they stand in a guy’s life. There are so many levels of involvement when it comes to relationships. Men and women can date, be exclusive, sex partners, platonic friends or roommates, but the major two categories that every women fall into is either a girlfriend or a side chick.
Men are very tempting and lure women in with their smooth talk, they sell dreams that money cannot even buy. But why are these dreams so good? You get hooked, not even realizing all the signs, him being there when it’s convenient for him or being distant when you need him.
We wear our emotions on our shoulder and we are always giving the benefit of the doubt to men. We cry over them, fight over them, step out of character for them. When is the last time you saw a men cry over you because you cheated on him? Never.
The side chick is one hell of a position to play, knowingly or not he has a girlfriend, or a family. Or even if he denies it to you, I can almost bet that there are signs that show that you are not the only one he attends to. Have you ever flipped positions and asked yourself what if that was me. You then start to gain feelings for him that were built on lies and you start to catch feelings, or jealous. First of all why would you be willing to share a piece of a man when you can patiently wait to find your own that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated as a woman. We as women have to stop being so darn desperate and so accepting of any little bit of scraps a sorry-ass man wants to throw our way.
Stop hanging on to losers, sharing them with other women and learn to be a woman that knows she deserves better and won’t accept anything less. Even the bible tells us that our hearts can’t be trusted. And that is where we as women screw ourselves. You say you love him with ‘all your heart’, ladies we have to use our heads, because clearly that love is one-sided. Once you let a man clearly see that you don’t even respect yourself, then that’s how he will continually treat you. Unlearn desperation and stand up and be a woman that deserves respect.
If you think about it, we are so quick to label men as dogs but we accept their doggish behavior by putting up with their lies. Put on your crown and get the respect that you deserve because you are no men’s beer that can be shared. Main chick, you need to know that he’s only going to keep doing what you allow him and put up with. Side chick, know that a man will never stay where he doesn’t want to be.
Don’t be a side chick. Go find yourself an actual boyfriend rather than facilitate cheating, break the chain and stop destroying other women’s relationships. Stop wrecking happy homes, rather make your own family and see how happy you can be.